Written by Jack Dennison
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Topics: Mark Hughes

Sunday, 2 August 2009

Manchester City boss Mark Hughes today confirmed that he is looking to make an innovative leap in the transfer market by signing Stoke City boss Tony Pulis on a long term contract.

"This is the first step of my new plan to dominate the Premier League," boasted a smug Hughes to a room full of sleeping reporters. "Having made numerous bids for the top players from all my rivals, it finally dawned on me that it would be easier to buy each club's manager. This masterstroke will leave all the great Premiership players and Steven Gerrard totally lacking anyone to guide and inspire them thus reducing our rivals to the standard we have achieved in previous seasons."

When asked to explain the choice of Tony Pulis as the first target in his new masterplan, Hughes held up a brown paper envelope with the words "Sign This Man" clearly printed on it and took out a picture of the soon to be ex-Stoke City boss.

Brimming with misguided confidence, Hughes added, "The owners have been quick to support the plan by making funds available to extend our dugout so that it will be able to accommodate 19 managers."

When a surprisingly alert journalist asked, "Surely you mean 20 ?" Mr Hughes turned as white as a goalpost and left the press conference rapidly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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