Written by Jaggedone
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Saturday, 1 August 2009

image for Shocking breaking "Footy" news! Man City owners buy Real Madrid, AC Milan and Bayern Munich!!!
Sheikh Mansouri wearing his newly acquired Real Madrid shitty shirt waving to shell-shocked Real fans, OLE!

Man City's mega-rich Arabian owners have just acquired Real Madrid, lock, stock, Ronaldo, Kaka and Barrel, OLÉ!

This shock news was just transmitted by Reuters Int. Also the news that the mega-disappointed Spanish royal family, sponsors of Real, have all committed hari-kari!

A spokesman from the Sheikh Mansour dynasty gave a press conference and quoted to shocked, global "footy" reporters the following reasons for the transaction:

"We the owners of Man City, Saudi Arabia and half of the world have just acquired Real Madrid. We don't fuck around and desire only one thing, to win everything! The Premier League, Primera Liga, Serie A and the Bundesliga (preperations to swallow Bayern Munich and AC Milan are in progress!)

We wish our investments to guarantee success in the Champions League, dominate global footy and that no other mother-fucking club shall ever win anything again!

Man Utd, Chelsea, Barcelona, Liverpool, etc, shellshocked by the news reacted swiftly:

"This is jolly unfair and certainly nothing to do with sport, we've just invested 500 million in new players (very sporty!) and now we will end up losing everything!

Sheikh Mansour countered immediately with a fine double pass and volley from the penalty spot:

"You can all fuck off and form your own leagues if you want, I, the magnificent one will buy them too! Accept the fact that you are all losers and will never again win a dicky bird!"

Old Pro's, Sir Bobby Charlton and Franz Beckenbauer sadly affected by the shocking news reacted swiftly:

"This has nothing whatsoever to do with sport anymore! We have just resigned our positions at Man Utd and Bayern, have accepted Ambassador positions on the Board of Directors at Sheikh Mansouri's conglomerate for an annual fee of $200 million and the rest can all fuck off!!"

The Accrington Stanley chairman has also just blown his brains out (what brains!) and who gives a shit anyway!!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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