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Wednesday, 29 July 2009

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The Premier League chiefs stunned the world with a football version of the twenty20 cricket tournament. Premier League officials keen to profit from the success and popularity of crickets twenty20 tournament format have announced plans to have their own Twenty20 competition which will run for two weeks after the football season has ended.

Gary Wilmore a spokesman for the premier league gave this statement to an eager press room. "A study commissioned by the premier league to study the habits of football fans when the football season had finished, found many football fans were watching Twenty20 cricket, it seemed obvious to us an ideal offering to these fans would be to combine the excitement of Twenty20 cricket with the even more exciting sport of football and this is how we got Twenty20 Football. The rules of the competition are simple, you have two halves of twenty minutes, for the first 10 minutes of every half you have a power play where one of the teams must have 6 of the eleven players in the opponents half. To add to the excitement you will get 2 goals for goals scored with shots outside of the area and 2 goals for overhead kicks, diving headers."

Wilmore turned on his heels and with a brief salute to the press core was gone amid a frenzied room of reporters barking questions like "will David Beckham be a captain?", "do offside's count double?", "what does Graham Taylor have to say about this?". Rumours of Gazza making a comeback were quickly whispered around the room and a brief rendition of Fog on the Tyne swirled round the room dying as quickly as it had begun, leaving the giddy participants with eyes darting round the room, seeing if someone else would lead them into another song, the room remained silent and the party atmosphere drifted back to the revolutionary idea at hand, Twenty20 Football.

It is widely believed the Football Twenty20 tournament will replace the ill thought out and infamous "39th Game" idea which wilted under media scrutiny last year. The potential fixture clash with the world cup was waved away by the premier League spokesman, who told the audience "the world cup is dead, long live the Premier League"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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