Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 28 July 2009

image for Notts County Announce Massive Fall In Season Ticket Sales
Eriksson arrives at the ground this morning

Notts County, who last week secured the services of the former England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson as Director of Football, have announced the rather depressing news that season ticket sales for the coming campaign are at a record low.

County, the world's oldest football club, have sold only 150 season passes, compared with nearly 2,000 last season, and the reason for this seems to be inextricably linked to their new Swedish acquisition.

Eriksson, 81, has also had spells at Benfica, Roma, Sampdoria, Lazio, Manchester City and the Mexico national side, and up Ulrika Jonsson and FA secretary Faria Alam.

Some fans at Meadow Lane this morning had actually come to the ground to apply for a refund, claiming the Swede lacks charisma and the footballing know-how with which to drag County out of the depths of League Two.

One fan, Timmy Scoggins, 5, said:

"Piss off back to Sweden, Grandad!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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