Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 20 July 2009

image for Andrew Flintoff To Take Up Crown Green Bowling
Geoff Boycott?

Former England cricket captain Andrew Flintoff, who this week announced that he will retire from Test cricket after the current Ashes series, has told friends at lancashire CC that he hopes to take up the rather less strenuous sport of Crown Green Bowling.

Flintoff, 28, has been cursed with injury throughout his career, and feels that his body just can't take the strain anymore.

More relaxing and age-friendly, the relatively sedate sport of Crown Green Bowling, however, would appear to be the perfect solution for Freddie, and, with its headquarters at Blackpool, just as convenient as turning up at Old Trafford.

The bowls fraternity is keen to welcome Freddie into their world.

Chief executive of the British Crown Green Bowling Association, Percy Whitehead, 82, enthused:

"Lad'll be welcome t' sling 'is woods dahn 'ere, if 'e can't 'ack cricket anymoor."

England will be shit without him.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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