Written by Blazing Saddle
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Tuesday, 14 July 2009

image for Waterboarding - Olympic Squads Selected
An Arctic Waterboarding Competitor Rests Between Events

All the competing democracies have now selected and announced their Waterboarding teams.

With a history stretching back to the Pol Pot regime in post-Vietnam Kampuchea and perfected by a number of countries since, Waterboarding is about to become the next Olympic sensation.

Comparable to Synchronised Swimming for its technique, Waterboarding involves inverted subjection to water and is one of the "endurance events".

Like Olympic Tiddlywinks (last gold medal - Burkhino Faso, 1934) Waterboarding is gripping for the participant but somewhat lacking for the casual observer.

The special equipment consists of a board or plank, a few feet of rope or gaffer tape and a calibrated water supply of 30 gallons (135 litres) per minute.

The competitor may wear the garments of choice but most choose to dress as if dragged from bed by a police squad at 3am!

The present Waterboarding World Record is held by LaToyah Jackson, a volunteer, who held out for 1 hour before admitting that Michael could be "a bit weird".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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