Written by Earl Grey
Print this
Topics: Cricket, Ashes

Monday, 13 July 2009

image for Australia Slam England Time Wasting Antics
Ricky Pointless "I'm not gonna cry about it"

Australian cricket captain Ricky Pointless slammed the tactics adopted by Englands last pair Jimmy Hairstyle and Munty Pantsareoff. "The way they just kept blocking the ball and not let themselves get out flies in the face of the earlier efforts of their team mates. I'm not bitter about it. I wont cry" he sobbed "but I will have my revenge one day."

Hairstyle and Pantsareoff did indeed adopt unfamiliar tactics. They also drew criticism from England skipper Andy Mouse. "We will be talking to them both so that they know exactly what is expected. I'm disappointed that we didn't get a result. At one point we were odds on for an innings defeat and all we end up with is a draw."

As England head to the next test at Lords they are left with some selection decisions to make. Paul Colleywobbles' heroic performance could see him make way for Russell Brand and his little batty watty. Freddie Flintstone has managed to play for England and not get injured, a worrying sign. However, KP Nuts delivered the goods in each innings. Firstly he headed the ball to a close fielder. Then, in the second innings, he managed to get his bat out the way and scored a direct hit. We hope the others learn from his example.

Final score England bore draw Australia bawl bawl.

Make Earl Grey's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 2?

6 25 4 21
42 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more