Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Cricket, the ashes

Saturday, 11 July 2009

image for Today At The Test
The familiar English sound of ball on stump

At close of play England were 20 runs for 2 wickets. Australia 674 for 5 wickets declared.

Awful stuff from Australia, hitting lots of 4s and 6s. We really don't like that sort of thing here. England's batsmen have a whole day to bat, and it doesn't matter how many runs they score. The opportunity for Boycott-type heroics are there for the taking.

Andy Mouse, England captain " I'm not too downhearted. You have to remember that we play a very different game to the Australians. I expect plenty of shots not to be played tomorrow. I just hope that the australians don't bowl too fast. The ball is pretty hard, and it might hurt if someone gets hit."

Ricky Pointless, Australia captain "I think the rain helped them today. But it can't rain all the time. We can wait. We will target KP Nuts and Freddie Flintstone."

Cricket is a game played by professional sportsmen. And the England cricket team.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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