Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Footballer Held Prisoner By Club
"Help! Let Me Out!"

A footballer is believed to have been held prisoner by a football club. Reports suggest that the manager, Carlos Thatsyourlotti, wanted to keep the player locked up forever. The player in question, influential centre half Terry Terry, was locked a cupboard with the spare balls and the cones used in training.

It was only when his cries for help were heard by a tea lady that he was set free. A tearful Terry said "It was really scary. I promise I wont talk to any strangers dressed in sky blue. Please don't send me back to the cupboard."

Thatsyourlotti is a notorious disciplinarian whose record in Italy speaks for itself. He once sent Roberto Baggio to bed without any supper and regularly beat Walter Zenga with a halibut.

A spokesperson for Chelski football club said "Terry Terry is not for sale. Unless it is for lots of money."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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