Written by Ross Donovan
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Topics: Death, Olympics

Wednesday, 7 July 2004

image for Referee Beaten To Death In Special Olympics Blind Boxing Fiasco
Referee Steinburg a moment before the pummelling

HAMBURG, GERMANY --- The sporting world was in shock today after one of the best loved amateur boxing referees was killed after a pummelling from a Special Olympian blind boxer, who had mistakenly thought the referee was his opponent during a first round boxing match at the Hamburg Games. Marcus Steinburg was taken to Hamburg City Hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival after receiving a dozen blows to the head from blind boxing phenomenon Jose Allza.

Allza had turned the wrong way during the fight and started to strike referee Steinburg. His opponent, Michael Dalton, was punching thin air for five minutes hoping to connect with Allza, but Allza was in a rich vein of form as blow after blow connected with the referee. Allza went onto to win the contest on a unanimous points decision. Dalton didnt connect with any jabs or punches, although afterwards claimed to have felt something.

Allza spoke of his mixed emotions after the fight saying, "Of course the main important thing tonight is that I will progress to round two and hopefully keep my form. The referee incident was a total accident and I dedicate the win to Marcus Steinburg". The boxing council has asked for an elasticated band to be tied between two opponents in future, and have apologised to some if any distressed viewers of the referees death.

Viewers in Germany are said to have found the entire incident hilarious but the Jewish community saw it as an insult to Steinburg. They have asked the German Chancellor for an apology. Chancellor Shroeder said, "why do these Jews always think we real Germans have to apologise to them for so called wrong doings". Shocked leaders around the world are now preparing for World War III. The coast off Normandy has been ladden with extra sand in case the worst comes to the worst. Referee Steinburgs family commented that "it would be the wishes of Marcus".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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