Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Rugby

Monday, 29 June 2009

image for British Lions Rugby Player Gets Nutsack Ripped Off By South African
Oh Me Fucking Nutsack!

There was absolute mayhem here following the latest rugby match between South Africa and the British Lions.

The British Lions, a team comprised of cauliflower eared egg chasers from England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales, who by valiant tradition reckon they can take on anybody in a stand up fight were brought down to earth with a bloody great bump.

Following a violent in-play incident when a Lion had his eyes gouged during a ruck, Lions player Johnny Skidmore had his nutsack ripped off in a similar incident.

Paramedics were called to the scene, and Skidmore was rushed to hospital, where doctors later announced that they were unable to surgically re-attach his nutsack.

Skidmore's condition is described as 'stable' but the rest of the British Lions were reported to be trawling bars in Johannesburg, drinking inordinate amounts of beer, singing bawdy songs at the top of their voices and spoiling for a fight.

Herman German of the South African Rugby Federation told us:

"It's a man's game. If somebody gets his nutsack ripped off it's no big deal. Fuck me, next you'll be asking the players to wear padding, full body armour, and big fuck-off shoulder pads. And helmets with visors. Fags..."

More rugby football related frivolity as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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