Written by Monkey Woods

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Monday, 22 June 2009

image for Wimbledon 2009 Drama As Queue Stretches Around The Corner
Another queue waiting to look at this woman's breasts

As the 2009 Wimbledon tennis championships finally get under way this afternoon, there was real drama in SW19 this morning, as the queue of people waiting to get in to see the opening match grew and grew and grew - and eventually stretched all the way around the corner, and past Ashraf's Newsagents.

Chief executive at the All England Lawn Tennis Club, Roderick St John-Symes, said:

"It's delightful! We've never seen quite so many people coming to Wimbers! My salary will be going through another roof! Ja."

The queue, which started forming last Thursday, is now thought to be at least 200-strong, and contains several diehard tennis enthusiasts, as well as those tossers who, every June, say they love tennis, get their posh rags and sunhats out, and start using phrases like 'drop-shot' and 'down the line' so that the people they're sat next to will think that they know something about tennis.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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