Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Nazi, Racing, royal ascot

Friday, 12 June 2009

image for Swastika crop circle closes Royal Ascot
Frankie rides Lesson in Humility in the Herman Goering Golden Jubilee Stakes

Ascot, Berks - (Shergar Ass Mess): Groundsmen are working round the clock to replace over £100,000 of turf after a swastika crop circle appeared in Ascot Racecourse's Royal Enclosure.

The Third Reich effigy materialised overnight following a Trooping the Colour flypast practise by RAF Lancaster Bombers, sending shockwaves through the MoD.

Racecourse officials appear resigned to digging up and replacing the ominous grass etching - which last year included one of the Fuhrer himself - on the two furlong pole at Swinley Bottom.

Clerk of the Course Major Wetyerself-Nightly said to reporters:

"Fuckoff, scumbags.

"We don't want your sort round here, making up Nazi stories just to frighten the whorses."

Kate Middleton has a unsaddling enclosure lifetime ban after grassing up Shergar's kidnappers for a measley fifty quid wrap of smack.

Lesson in Humility runs in the aptly-named Herman Goering Golden Jubilee Stakes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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