Peter Theo, the legendary footballer from Arsenal, Millwall and Ajax as stepped in to save Newcastle United from Oblivion.
Peter Theo, fat, has created a multi pie empire and has reportedly agreed to share his pies with the young and athletic Mike Ashely in a bid to return Newcastle to the days of old when they were not so crap.
From his luxury factory in Cyprus, Peter Theo, pie eater and obese, said, "I like pie, I play for Millwall, me great hero, I save Newcastle no problem, I put pie in Michael Owen locker, he make the happy with the pie, everybody wins".
Newcastle United, a somewhat popular football club near the great city of Sunderland and still a premiership team, is based in the north. NUFC's history is long and varied, Kevin Keegan is very much seen as the saviour of the club but as a true Sunderland man, has a conflict of interest in how the club is run. He prefers to feed sunderland with 'peters pies' as opposed to the 'pukka pies' that Newcastle enjoyed, many see this as an issue but Peter Theo says its not down to the pie, but the pie lovin and caring and attention to pie detail.
Keegan said when he heard Peter Theo is pounding Viduka's pie, "he's a great man, he too will make Sunderland look great and bring pride back to the north east near Manchester, his pie strategies are second to none and his ability to spot a pie is akin to the Hubble telescope spotting empty space, he will do fantastically well, and lets hope he can emulate the greatest club in the north, Sunderland".
Peter Theo is best known for his footballing exploits, he hold the current world record for 'keepy pies' as well as 'pie up's'. His career was cut short when he had a pie related injury, allegedly due to some horse-napping and ransome demands, though, the horse has choses to remain silent over the matter.
Mike Ashely, skinny and totally not fat, said the offer from Peter is real and we dont know how but he has unlimited credit availble to him, we thank our licky Mackams that his pie rating is so fantastic".