Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 6 June 2009

image for Liverpool Back Out Of Kaka Deal
We Will Fight Them On The Beaches - Scouser Leaves Shoes Behind

Liverpool today announced that they were abandoning all attempts to lure Brazilian midfield maestro Kaka to Anfield. The reason given was that Liverpool are skint, and unless Hicks and Gillet pull their fingers out and sort out the mess that Liverpool are in, the club will be doomed.

Ironic then that Liverpool supporters condemned rivals Manchester United for going public and selling out on their heritage, that they now find themselves in the same boat.

Liverpool, reeling following Manchester United's very real threat to knock them off their perch, which they did with their 18th Championship, now find themselves in a no win situation.

With players houses being burgled on a regular basis, the club being stony broke, Steven Gerrard casting longing glances at Real Madrid, what does the future hold for the self pitying scousers?

"There is no future," admitted lifelong Liverpool fan Stan Boardman. "It's over. I don't know about attracting the likes of Kaka, Ronaldo and Tevez...we'd struggle to attract flies at the moment."

Manchester United diehard Donald Skoob, a janitor at Salford University told us:

"They had it coming. They've been so supercilious and self serving over the years, not to mention painfully smug, that one day they would have to extract their heads from their arses and face up to reality. And that day has come. We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them in the fields, we will fight them in Everton valley, we will fight them at Lime Street station. They shall never prevail. They are.."

At which point Donald Skoob was sectioned under the mental health act.

Why do Manchester United and Liverpool hate each other so much?

We'll tell you as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

7 9 25 1
64 readers are online right now!

Go to top