Written by Lightning Conductor
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Sunday, 31 May 2009

image for Gallant Everton in Double Whammy on FA Cup Final Day!
Everton First Team's Pedalos lined up neatly outside the stadium!

Brave Everton yesterday suffered a double whammy that has sent shockwaves through the tightly knit gangs that form the community of Merseyside.

Despite putting in another amazing FA Cup performance and fighting like two fat birds in a pub car park, Everton FC lost out to a Chelsea team that had obviously been training hard and drinking lots of their Dutch Manager Gus Hiddink's "Special Tea" from Amsterdam!

Gavin Hughes, a dedicated Evertonian phoned me from the payphone on the bar in his local "The Swinging Tit", to complain that the "Cockney referee Howard Webb" had missed at least fourteen obvious penalty claims & he'd be boycotting any matches presided over by this horribly biased cockney tosser!

The Club were devastated to discover that Everton Chairman Bill Kenright had forgotten to lock the stadium & thieves had gotten in & emptied the Everton Trophy Room whilst they were down south battling the Cockney's!

Merseyside Police are said to be hunting for two men carrying a blue carpet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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