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Wednesday, 27 May 2009

image for Roma MMIX
United Fans Give Rousing Rendition Of 'Ferry Cross The Irwell'

All the latest on the 2009 Champions League Final from the Estadio Olimpico in the eternal city, complete with regular updates.

Fans of Barcelona and Manchester United mingling freely in a trouble free atmosphere all over town. Six Manchester United fans hospitalized with sunburn, 27 moved on from 2000 year old amphitheatre, the Colosseum acting under the mistaken belief that it was the venue for the match.

Female Barcelona fan refused entry to Saint Peter's Basilica on the grounds that she was just too damned hot!

Black market tickets available at vastly inflated prices. Manchester United supporter swaps brand new Vespa scooter for ticket. Scooter didn't belong to him. Last seen disappearing into crowds with ticket laughing like a drain.

Barcelona fans 'disappointed' by the Pantheon because of large hole in roof which will let the rain in.

Walking Tour operators selling Dan Brown - Angels and Demons tours report that business is slow.

Beer sales up 23%

No sign as yet of notorious Roma Ultras. United and Barca fans can't be arsed with such stupidity.

Everybody looking forward to a great match.

Updates throughout the day as they come in.

Update: Goals from Samuel Eto'o and Lionel Messi take the trophy back to Catalunya. United fans have no complaints. The best team won.

Barcelona 2 Manchester United 0

Signing off: Skoob.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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