Written by Anietie Ukpe
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Tuesday, 19 May 2009

image for Ovrebo bids for UEFA Final between Man U and Barca

Controversial referee Tom Ovrebo has appealed to UEFA Referee's committee for the officiating of the UEFA Champion's League Final between FC Barcelona and Manchester United FC.

He says this is the only way to punish Didier Drogba, John Terry and Michael Ballack who questioned his professionalism and competence and put the trio to shame. He does not want any punishment meted out to any of the players, believing that refereeing the final would be punishment enough for them.

FC Barcelona is comfortable with the proposition. Their only regret is that if they knew things would turn out this way they would have signed beefy American Football players who are built like Mack trucks to man their rear and knock out Christiano Ronaldo - American football-style.

Manchester United is not against the idea, but are still studying the situation to determine how to engage the opponents without entering the box.

Barca Fans think the penalty rule should be scrapped in the match and Ovrebo given a free hand to turn the 18 yard box into a ball-handling arena.

"It will be a new and interesting invention. You kick the ball all the way to the 18 yard box and then you are free to pick it up and slam it into goal and the defender is also free to pick it up, like a goal keeper and throw it out of the box," Says a Barca fan in Norway.

UEFA is studying the situation closely and may still give the match to Ovrebo as an experiment in how to do away with the penalty rule. This way clubs would hire some bodybuilder-type in helmets to man their rear, and play will be full contact in the area - like in American Football.

A different school of thought has it that another type of football named after "Ovrebo" should be invented. It would be played on a football field but the 18 yard will be classified as "Valetudo" (Brazilian for "anything goes") box. There defenders can lift up a striker and throw him and the ball out of the box and they can handle the box just like a goal keeper. The game will be known as "Ovreball"

UEFA authorities declined to confirm this story and but confirmed that it was studying the full implication of Ovrebo's novel type of refereeing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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