Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 9 May 2009

image for Police Arrest 200 Fat Ladies Outside KC Stadium
A balding fat lady shaping to sing

Humberside Police have tonight confirmed that they have made more than 200 arrests outside the KC Stadium, home of Hull City, and that all of those detained were fat women.

Hull lost 2-1 to Stoke City this afternoon, and are now in real danger of being relegated. Only a miracle in their two remaining fixtures - away at Bolton next week, and a tricky last-day encounter with Manchester United - will save them.

A police spokesman told us:

"We arrested about 200 fat lasses who seemed to be intent on trouble. They looked like they were going to start singing, but we were acting on strict orders from the Hull City manager, Phil Brown, to prevent any such Fat Lady chanting until the last day of the season, or until such a time when it is physically and mathematically impossible for the luckless Tigers to stay up. Now piss off."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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