Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 9 May 2009

image for Leeds v. Millwall Could Be Decided By A Fight

West Yorkshire police have confirmed in a statement tonight, a cancellation of all staff leave in preparation for the second leg of the League One play-off between Leeds United and Millwall at Elland Road on Wednesday night, after it emerged that, if the scores are level at full time, the result could be decided by a fight between rival fans.

The fixture, always a flashpoint, has taken on even more importance than usual, as the winners will progress to the play-off final at Wembley.

Millwall eventually came out on top at the Den this afternoon, winning 1-0 with a goal from Neil Harris, but with home advantage and a crowd of 37,000 expected inside Elland Road, Leeds will be confident of overhauling the Lions slender lead.

If, however, the two sides are inseparable after 90 minutes and a period of extra time, combatants from both clubs have indicated that they would be entirely willing to 'come to an amicable conclusion' - or, at least, 'a conclusion' - on the pitch.

The days when football hooligans ruled the terraces have long since gone - primarily because there are no longer any terraces - but even so, there have been pockets of resistance, and Leeds and Millwall are two of those pockets.

The pair have always been at the forefront of the 'less savoury' side of fandom (or more savoury, depending on your view) and a recent article highlighted the creative and ingenious way Millwall fans often go about their 'work'.

Leeds fans are no different, having defined modern-day hooliganism with their behaviour in the European Cup Final of 1975, when they got rather shirty. They subsequently became the scourge of every town and city in England with their travelling support terrorising anyone who dared step outside their front door on a Saturday when United were in town.

Fans leaving today's game were moderately enthusiastic about the plans for fisticuffs. Leeds fan, Harry Bilge, 53, said:

"Ah reckon it's a good idea. Southern twats."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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