Written by Pointer

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Topics: Manny Ramirez

Saturday, 9 May 2009

image for Manny Maniac Ramirez's Fifty Game Suspension is Really a Maternity Leave
Maternal Manny is just about ready to pop

Former Red Sux slugger and present suspended LaLa Land Artless Dodger, Manny Ramirez has tested positive for a Female fertility drug. Human Chorionic Gonadotropin is a medication given to help women conceive. It is also a drug therapy provided to steroid users to prevent the undesirable testosterone drop that comes after a serious regimen of juicing.

Ramirez has admitted to taking HCG but his explanation has shocked the sports world:

" I wanted to become a mother...Call me loco but I just felt like I would never be fulfilled unless I had a baby in my own body. Sure being baseball's greatest hitter has been a bit of a thrill but a baby...Now that is really something that no batting title could rival.

" Now that I am carrying little Manny, I could not be happier. Missing fifty games means nothing to me...take away my money, why would i care...No one can take away my baby... and the joy of being una mamacita!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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