Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 8 May 2009

image for Didier Drogba Banned For Fifteen Matches!
No more of this, please!

Didier Drogba, the Chelsea striker who so shamefully remonstrated with Norwegian referee, Tom Henning Ovrebo, after Wednesday night's Champions League semi-final clash with Barcelona at Stamford Bridge, has received a massive 15-match Abuse Ban from UEFA.

The ban will take immediate effect, and prevents Drogba from remonstrating with referees and other officials by way of shouting abuse, pointing fingers, waving arms, giving them filthy looks, and generally being a clod.

He will, however, be able to continue playing.

The punishment also includes a ban from swearing into TV cameras AT ANY TIME, thus ensuring younger viewers are sheltered from his extraordinary repertoire of expletives.

Drogba heard of the ruling at Chelsea's training ground where the squad were preparing for Sunday's visit to the Emirates for the clash with Arsenal.

Blues manager Guus Hiddink told reporters:

"He's devastated. Abuse and intimidation are part of his game. As is diving. But, he'll take it on the chin, and we'll move on. There's more to Didier Drogba than diving, shouting, screaming, finger-pointing, arm-waving, acting, fooling referees, moaning, coin-throwing, and swearing into TV cameras when children are watching. He's a decent player sometimes."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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