Written by Monkey Woods
Print this

Thursday, 7 May 2009

image for Graham Poll Carted Off To Nuthouse

News just in from FA headquarters is that former Premier League referee, Graham Poll, has been apprehended and taken to a secure psychiatric unit after a bizarre statement he made regarding Tuesday night's Champions League match between Arsenal and Manchester United at the Emirates.

Poll spoke on the radio about the dismissal, by the Italian referee Roberto Rosetti, of United's Darren Fletcher for a supposed illegal challenge on Cesc Fabregas which led to Arsenal's penalty.

Poll said that he fully understood why Fletcher had to go:

"Even though Fletcher got a touch on the ball and cleared it away from the danger area, the referee is totally justified in sending him off, because Fletcher is a Manchester United player, and I am a lunatic."

Poll it was who was sent home in disgrace from the 2006 World Cup in Germany, after his blunder in the Australia v. Croatia game, when he booked Croatian defender Josip Simunic three times.

The sorry ex-ref made things worse this morning when, commenting on the behaviour of Chelsea players after their own Champions League exit at the hands of Barcelona and another nutcase ref, he said:

"It is disgraceful what the Norwegian referee had to put up with. He has had to change his hotel, and has had an armed guard outside his room all night, because police were worried about his safety. I am a lunatic."

Poll regularly appears on sports programmes, most notably on Setanta, as a representative of officialdom, but just as regularly makes a complete arse of himself with his strange views.

Police visited Poll at his home around 9.30am, and took him directly to an unnamed psychiatric unit near London, where he will remain until he shuts up.

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 2?

1 11 18 2
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more