Written by Monkey Woods
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

image for Lucy Bronze Appears To Monkey Woods In A Dream
If only there'd been two of them!

She was the Woman of the Match yesterday for Sunderland Womens Football Club in their 2-1 FA Cup final defeat to Arsenal ladies, but Lucy Bronze put on an even more stunning performance last night, when appearing to Spoof writer Monkey Woods in a dream.

Bronze, still only 17, totally snuffed-out the threat of England winger Rachel Yankey at Pride Park, but totally lit up the twilight world of the aforementioned daydreamer Woods, who spent a night of tossing and turning - but mostly tossing - as his new-found favourite Sunderland lass took him on a journey of discovery and wonderment on Wearside.

The details of the said dream cannot be discussed here, but readers can rest assured that absolutely nothing dirty happened; Woods, although covered from head to foot in unsightly hair, is much too much of a perfectly respectable gentleman to cynically take advantage of an innocent young girl like Bronze.

Indeed, the pleasure-soaked dream ended with the unlikely pair joining hands and dancing to a chorus of Howay The Lads! sung by 40,000 of the Black Cats' faithful at the Stadium of Light - although it looked more like Roker Park - just before his wife shook him awake and ordered him to go downstairs and make a cup of tea.

Said Woods:

"If anyone has got her phone number, I'd be interested to know it!"

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 4?

5 12 15 8
68 readers are online right now!

Go to top