In an amazing about turn, Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has revealed that he would sell Real Madrid (previously known as 'that mob') a virus after all.
Ferguson, upset by the Spanish giants attempts to unsettle star striker Cristiano Ronaldo has been somewhat scathing towards the Spanish club recently, but now appears to have mellowed in his stance.
"Of course I'd sell them a virus," he told me. "Preferably the H1N1 virus. That should sort the buggers out. I'd sell it to them dirt cheap too, maybe even consider a free if they promise to room it with that idle bastard Van Nistelrooy. Just kidding lads. We'll handle this one virus at a time, take it as it comes."
Real Madrid refused to comment, but Rafael Benitez squeaked from behind a sofa:
"We're still in it."
More as we get it.