Reports coming in state that 35 years young Manchester United legend Ryan Giggs is looking to buy the MEN Arena venue in central Manchester because he needs a bigger place to store his collection of medals, awards, diplomas, international caps, and a mountain of footballing memorabilia.
This week alone, the phenomena that is Ryan Giggs was named PFA Player Of The Year, played his 800th game for Manchester United, and slotted home the first goal at Middlesbrough in what may well be his eleventh successful Premiership campaign.
"My trophy room at home is starting to get a bit cramped," Giggs explained. "I've just got mountains of stuff. If I wasn't already filthy stinking rich I could make a fortune to rival Abramovich's on eBay. I just had to find a bigger place to keep it all in and the MEN Arena fits the bill nicely."
Giggs has been hotly tipped to be knighted, canonised, beatified, given the freedom of europe, blessed by the Pope, appointed as UN Ambassador to Palestine, appointed head of the CIA, Personal Assistant to Barack Obama, and the true Son Of God.
When we told him this he simply laughed and told us to piss off.
More as we get it.