Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 4 May 2009

image for Lucy Bronze To Sign For Sunderland?
Plus she's gorgeous!

There was good news for Sunderland fans today after their recent run of poor form has left them teetering just above the Premier League relegation places.

Black Cats manager Ricky Sbragia told reporters that the club was close to signing their first female player, the Sunderland Womens FC full back, Lucy Bronze.

Bronze impressed in the Womens FA Cup final against Arsenal today, and though the team lost 2-1, Bronze was a tower of strength, snuffing out the threat of the Gunners' international winger, Rachel Yankey.

Time and time again, Bronze outmuscled Yankey, forcing her to change over to the right wing, and made a telling contribution in the centre of defence with several important clearances. She even supplied the cross from which Kelly McDougall scored Sunderland's late consolation goal.

To cap everything off, despite finishing on the losing side, Bronze was adjudged to have been Woman of the Match, an oddity, as the winner of the award usually emerges from the winning team.

Black Cats chairman Niall Quinn, watching from the stands at Pride Park, looked impressed, and after the match, said:

"She's quite useful. I've had a word with Ricky Sbragia about getting her phone number."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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