Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 2 May 2009

image for Chris Kamara Advised To Take It Easy By Herb Doctor
Crowd Whipped Up To Fever Pitch By Chris Kamara

Telly football commentator and pundit Chris Kamara was given a stern warning today from a man who described himself as a 'herb doctor'. The self styled herb doctor advised Kamara not to get too worked up over nothing or he was in very real danger of bursting a blood vessel. Most likely in his brain.

Kamara, renowned for his match bulletins and widely respected in the field of football is however probably better known for his hysterical rants where nothing much has actually happened in the game he has been reporting.

Herb Doctor, Julian Chillman told us:

"I'm genuinely concerned for Chris Kamara's wellness. Dude stirs himself up to the point of apoplexy just because some team or other got a throw in. So you tune into the highlights programme, and the game is like, crap. Nothing happens. It's a boring 0-0. He needs to take the occasional backward step and take a long hard look at himself. Southampton getting a throw in or a goal kick is no reason for hysteria."

We spoke to Chris Kamara's agent, who told us:

"Chris gives the punters what they want. We've never had complaints before. Who are you anyway?"

At which point we decided to state that there will be more as we get it.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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