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Tuesday, 28 April 2009

image for Sir Alex Ferguson describes "terrible, crippling boredom" in role

A despondent Sir Alex Ferguson claims to have lost all motivation and interest in his job as manager of Manchester United, the world's most valuable sport club.

In an open and frank interview with Sir David Frost, Sir Alex admitted that he had recently been suffering from a "terrible, crippling boredom" in his role and was now at a point where he was struggling to see "what the point of any of the football nonsense is all about".

Ferguson, bored, said "I have been doing the same job for 23 years now and I defy you to find anyone that wouldn't be bored by that".

The club's manager has been rumoured for a number of weeks to have been missing training sessions in favour of remaining at home, having found a new interest in the "Jeremy Kyle Show". "He knows what he is talking about" Ferguson said about Kyle, "He'd tell Rafa that I was right".

"I just don't really care anymore; I have been doing a lot of Sudoku at half time, and listening to my iPod during the game. I might take up bridge".

It is unknown whether this represents a further round of mind games with rival Rafa Benitez or is a genuine cry for help from the Scot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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