Reports emerging from Manchester United's Carrington training ground this lunchtime would appear to suggest that the war of attrition being waged between Sir Alex Ferguson and Rafa Benitez has escalated to a whole new level.
It has been confirmed that Liverpool boss Benitez has indeed made a dramatic late swoop in order to secure the services of the 25 year-old Argentina striker, a move surely designed to infuriate fiery Ferguson and legions of Manchester United fans everywhere.
United Skipper Franz Ferdinand (no relation) takes up the story:
"We'd had a good training session and were heading back to the dressing rooms when all of a sudden, there was this whirring sound. I looked up and was amazed to see Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez piloting a microlight plane swooping down from the sky like a Japanese zero.
"As he got closer, I noticed a huge lassoo dangling from the undercarriage. Benitez was laughing like a lunatic and it was obvious Carlos was the target."
"The Boss went mental," Ryan Giggs added. "He started lobbing footy boots at Rafa, and some pizza. Eventually Rafa flew off, leaving the Boss waving an angry fist at the sky."
"Funny, that was," Paul Scholes piped up in his most expansive interview for eleven years.
More as we get it.
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