Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 21 April 2009

image for Hull City Shitting Themselves Ahead Of Liverpool Game
A brick

Hull City manager Phil Brown was reported to be in an advanced state of anxiety as he prepared his squad for the visit of Liverpool to the KC Stadium on Saturday, and has said that the Tigers players are "fairly shitten' themselves at the prospect".

Hull are currently languishing in 16th position, having lost 1-0 at Sunderland last Saturday, but it's on their home turf that the Tigers have been at their least impressive, winning only three of their 16 Premier League games there so far.

Brown knows that City will be up against it, and is aware that Liverpool, after their 4-4 draw with Arsenal on Tuesday, cannot afford to drop any more points if they are to maintain their challenge for the title.

Said Brown:

"We're shitten' it. We know their strengths, but there's fuck all we can do about it! My players are cacking it big style! 'Scuse me a minute, will ya?"

The admission came after an insider at Hull said this morning that Brown - lovingly known as Brownie by Tigers fans - had been suffering with loose bowels all week, and had shit a huge brick.

Assistant boss, Brian Horton, said:

"There's no doubt about it, it was a big 'un."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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