Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 28 May 2009

image for Britain's Got Talent Susan Boyle To Sing Before FA Cup Final
Susan Boyle today

After her stunning recent entrance onto the world singing stage, and last weekend's qualification for its final, Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle is set to reach an even wider audience after being invited to sing the national anthem at Wembley Stadium before the FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Everton this Saturday.

Boyle, 48, is a staunch Livingston supporter at heart, but the songstress has said that she'd be delighted to croon in front of the Queen, or whichever Royal is lumbered with having to turn up.

The unemployed Scottish church worker says she will not be fazed by singing in such a volatile and intimidating atmosphere, and in front of two sets of partisan supporters.

Susan will entertain the Cup Final fans with songs from her forthcoming album entitled I'm A Virgin, on which she desexifies Madonna hits, and turns them into Sunday School-style operettas.

She will then command the crowd to be quiet as she delivers a stunning rendition of God Save The Queen, whilst trying not to scratch her knackers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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