Written by Earl Grey
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Friday, 17 April 2009

image for Liverpool Boss In Big Sam Drink Slight
How Blackburn Rovers Line Up

Big Sam Allardyce has complained that Rafa Benitez did not meet him for a drink after the recent Liverpool v Blackburn match.

"It's so typical of the bloke. Any decent English bloke knows a few beers after the match is the way it's done. He just isn't doing it right. I love to down a few. Particularly after a 4-0 defeat. I know all the Blackburn fans were out getting pissed. As I said, any decent English bloke would have joined me."

It was pointed out to Allardyce that Benitez was in fact Spanish and might have a different, more sophisticated culture. "My arse" said Allardyce. "Sir Alex Ferguson always meets me for a drink. He'd even drink if I didn't meet him. He'd start and I'd try to catch up. Not like Benitez. He's nasty. He wont drink with me. I should have been England manager you know! But they went for some wop. Give me the job and it'll be booze, birds and more booze."

Benitez is yet to explain a hand gesture during the match. It is thought that he was telling Anfield staff not to unlock the drinks cabinet in his office.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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