Chelsea FC caretaker boss Guus Hiddinck today unveiled his latest signing as none other than Declan MacManus, aka Elvis Costello, who once released a record, way back when, entitled: 'I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea.'
Costello, who also sang about Oliver's Army and watching some detectives will receive a pay package worth an estimated £2 million a week. When asked what prompted this about turn in attitude, Costello told us:
"That song was a long time ago. Things change. Now Chelsea does move me, even though I've seen the movie. The money helps too."
Chelsea fans were said to be not very happy with the signing of the bespectacled wrinkly rock midget, who once had his feet set on fire on a tour bus by the Clash. Or somebody.
"What's that all about?" one exclaimed outside Fulham Broadway tube station. "it's a piss take innit?"
The wrinkly rock star will act as a back up for Didier Drogba. Jose Mourinho was said to be laughing his bollocks off.