Written by Tess Tickles
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Topics: Tennis

Monday, 13 April 2009

image for Gael Monfils Wants To Move Further Behind The Baseline
Where Monfils plans to stand to return serve.

French tennis star and world number 10 Gael Monfils has urged tennis authorities to move spectators' seats further back so that he can stay even further behind the baseline.

The black youngster, nicknamed Sliderman, on account of his agility and known for his flamboyance on court, says that he only wants 'about ten more yards' and feels that 'it's not too much to ask'.

"The clay court season is coming up", stated Monfils. "I want tennis dudes to consider my request seriously. I've got barely any room back there!"

Continuing:

"Time and time again I'm ending up in row 5 with the tennis audience when I try to get to wide balls. I'm standing on babies' shoulders and ending up in little old ladies' laps. It's damn embarrassing!"

Adding:

"Higher ups need to realise that defensive moonballers and pushers such as myself are at a serious disadvantage when it comes to modern tennis. I'm constantly having to shove the linespeople out of the way!"

Asked if he'd ever considered adopting an attacking approach, stepping up into the court, and maybe even coming to net occasionally, Monfils replied:

"Whaaaaaaaa? Dude...what are you smoking? Get outta here! Attacking approach!..ha ha ha ha ha.."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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