The wealthiest team in history has yielded one of the richest bacterial cultures in the CDC record books. Usually in yankee lore the records were for homeruns, pennants and world series. But since the Steingrabber twins fired Joe Torre,a malaise has set upon the team.
Typical of superstitious baseballers, a psychiatrist, a hypnotist and a tax attorney have been brought in to seek a cure. No luck...they even temporarily hired fucking Bucky Dent as a motivational speaker but no one knew who he was or what he did. Finally the club physician ordered STD tests for the Bronx Bummers and sure enough there were more positive tests than in a Nevada whore house.
Plenty of HIV, syphillis and chlamydia but the dominant bacterial strain was a pus causing, itchy mama of an infection called Girardi Vaginalis. Antibiotics have been added to the water cooler and a penicillin swab has replaced the pine tar rag. the center for Disease Control is looking into the root cause of the infection that has crippled the once dominant Yanks, staring with the manager's locker and ending with his foreskin.