Barack Obama became a Formula 1 McLaren driver today, as World Champion Lewis Hamilton resigned 'for personal reasons'. The President had to cancel his 'Magical Mystery Tour' of Europe, and attended a press conference in London to announce his change of career.
'I shall bring to Formula 1 a dignity, a respectful and honorable attitude, I shall not lie about passing an Iraqi car following a safety election. I will not tell the stewards of the world that I, Barack 'Black Flag' Obama, claimed to be going to withdraw from the Middle East Grand Prix, when televised evidence has proved that I did.'
'I will not then admit I lied, and be sent from the White House to the Dog House. This is a great day for us, when a black man can finally compete in Formula 1 without resorting to cheating, and telling porkies. Thank you.'
Due to Mr Obama's joining the McLaren team, television commentators have been given new guidelines for Grand Prixs. Firstly, they must mention Obama's skin colour twice a race, secondly they must allow him to break all sorts of rules for one season, so he can become a token World Champion, and thirdly they must then hammer him for every slight infringement for the entire next season and give him a crap car, so his career is effectively finished.
'Now way, Keke!', he said, 'Formula 1 doing that to me is as likely as me being elected American President, then after a honeymoon period making myself look like a liar and a fool.' Meanwhile Lewis Hamilton was considering becoming a Democrat candidate in the 2012 US election, saying:
'They need someone like Barack again, you know, someone getting elected on a pretty much anti-war ticket, then about-facing the minute he's elected. I should fit in nicely at the job.' Ayrton Senna had nothing to say about Mr Obama's appointment.