Violent disorder broke out in Manchester tonight in the wake of the club's 3-2 victory over a plucky Aston Villa, following news that the club's American owners were preparing for a rebranding of the club, beginning with a name change.
"United's are ten a penny out there," American market strategist Hiram Hucklebuck told us. "We feel that the name of the club should be linked to something intrinsically woven into the fabric of the city it represents."
"That's bollocks that is," said long standing United fan Jacko The Knife. "We'll always be United. And we'll fight any plucker to the death for that name. It's what identifies us. These PC pricks won't get away with this. Just you watch."
"The concept is based on sound politically correct ideals," Hucklebuck countered. "There's nothing unique about the name United. There's Newcastle United, Leeds United, Sheffield United, Peterborough United, Southend United, there are lots of Uniteds. We want something unique to Manchester."
Like what? The Spoof.com team enquired.
"The Manchester Uzi's or the Manchester Pistols..."
More as we get it...