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Saturday, 4 April 2009

image for Obama - DC United Welcome Ferguson And McGregor
DC Coup

Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor have been invited to play the rest of their football careers for DC United at the exclusive invitation of Barack Obama.

DC and Obama handed out the invitation after the pair were banned by Scottish soccer Gers boss Martin (no brain) Bain having been sent home from training earlier in the week.

Both players were involved in tanned induced porno sex sessions at the Scotland's team hotel with clients from CJ's Townhouse that enraged Gers' club and national team bosses.

Additionally both players were allegedly accused of making Nazi salute signs at HRH Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and Hoops Bead Rattlers, while on the bench after being dropped for Wednesday's 2-1 win over Iceland at Hampden.

As a result the SFA have been besieged by phone calls and e-mails from Scotland fans in opposition to the bans.

Ironically it is also understood that the positive reaction from Serie C minnows FC Vatico chairman Joseph Alois Ratzinger and Hoops supporters groups have added to the pressure for the matter to be withheld.

The decision follows further meetings between Hun Chancellor Angela Dorothea Merkel and Dr John Reid MP, sanctioned by the SFA board, deciding both players should play for Scotland again.

A Vatico liaison spokesman said: "In light of the events of the past 48 hours and following further discussions between the national team manager and the SFA chief executive, it has been decided that Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor will be considered for international selection by Scotland again."

Reid added "This action has been taken in the best interest of the squad, the fans and the country."

"We are determined to see Scotland qualify for the World Cup and we must ensure that nothing is allowed to distract us from achieving this goal whether it be sex, religion, drugs or rock n roll!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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