Written by Charles Letterman

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Topics: F1, Lewis Hamilton

Friday, 3 April 2009

image for Lewis Hamilton - MI5 knew about my torture

Lewis Hamilton claimed today that MI5 were well aware that he was being tortured by Formula One officials. The star, who cheated his way to third place in the Australian Grand Prix, told how investigators must have been tipped off.

Speaking today outside his Swiss home he said, "All the time the officials forced me to listen to hours and hours of Nigel Mansell interviews it was obvious that they knew how to break an english motor racing driver. That sort of information could only come from MI5."

Looking battered and bruised Hamilton appeared at today's press conference and apologised for misleading the governing body, but claimed that, "He was only obeying orders."

While the sport's authorities didn't want to comment on any individual case, they releases a statement saying "We will bring these cheats to justice using any means available to us, and if that involves Nigel Mansaell interviews and a burning cross, so be it. The moral values of our great sport must be upheld."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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