Written by Lightning Conductor
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 3 April 2009

image for Shearer hits Bullseye with the Toon!

Alan Shearer has given up spending afternoons in the bookies to take on the uphill struggle that will be keeping this once great team in the Premiership.

"I'm ever so happy", mumbled the eloquent Geordie beaming his winning smile at the assembled members of the worlds media whilst trying to contain his emotions.

Mike Ashley added that "he thought victory would be assured during the last 8 games".

However, when questioned in more detail with difficult questions like "Didn't you say that at the beginning of the season"? Mr Ashley started coughing and had to leave the room to "get a drink of water."

Shearer explained to the press that the rapid ascent of the team up the league could "get out of hand," so he'd asked for a retarder as he didn't want to upset the cosy little club at the top of the table just yet.

He went on to explain that Mike Ashley had supplied him with "An Ian Dowie" who'd be able to prevent too much forward progress which he's apparently expert at"

Make Lightning Conductor's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 4?

1 6 20 3

Go to top