Written by Earl Grey
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Thursday, 2 April 2009

image for Cole To Renew Contract In Dubai Ceremony
Ashley Cole Has Packed For Dubai Trip

Ashley Cole is set to renew the signing of his contract at a lavish ceremony in Dubai. His agent, Phil Yerboots, said "I can confirm that Ashley is seeking to show how strong his commitment to his wallet is. By renewing the signing of his contract he will silence the doubters. Ashley loves Money and he will always love money. The pair will never be parted."

Ashley originally was in a relationship with Football, but he soon found that Money could give him so much more. Before long he had pledged his heart and soul to Money at a ceremony at Stamford Bridge.

Recently his relationship has been on the rocks. It was revealed in the News of the Screws that Ashley was involved in a threesome with Fame and Fortune. However, Money has agreed to take him back following a brief period of estrangement.

Famous names within the game were quick to lend their support. Sir Booby Robson, speaking from the Jimmy Hill Home For the Mentally Lame said "What a nice young boy. He visited here once. Offered to take my two granddaughters to dinner..... Worther's Original?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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