Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 2 April 2009

image for Lewis Hamilton Accused Of Lying
The winner - apparently

Formula 1 motor racing champion Lewis Hamilton has been stripped of his third place finish at last Sunday's Australian Grand Prix today, after it emerged his McClaren team had lied to officials.

The sport's world governing body, the FIA, said they were excluded from the race "for providing evidence deliberately misleading to the stewards".

The row centred on something or other about Hamilton's actions during the last lap of Sunday's race, although I can't say what, because motor racing, its attraction and not least, its rules, are beyond me.

Quite how anyone can contemplate sitting through two hours of watching souped-up motorised contraptions hurtling around a track putting other people's lives at risk, accompanied by that stupid buzzing sound, escapes me.

Anyway, the upshot of all this, is that the points that Hamilton and McClaren earned for finishing third have been confiscated and given to someone else, though again, I'm not sure who, and I could not care less.

Boring! BORING! BORING! BORING! What time does Match Of The Day come on?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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