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Wednesday, 1 April 2009

image for England v Ukraine - Six Minute Anthem Nightmare
All Hail The Glorious Ukranian Tractor! - Verse Nine

It's been described as a deliberate plot to unsettle the opposition players and fans alike, but officials of the Ukraine FA have insisted on playing a six minute version of their national anthem at Wembley tonight.

"Six minutes is a long time to have to stand to attention out there on the park while they play a crap anthem," commented England striker Roon the Loon.

Any spectator who refuses to stand for the six minute long dirge faces ejection from the stadium. England fan, Big Tone from Bermondsey told us:

"Six minutes? They've gotta be avin a larf! I could make love wiv her indoors in six minutes! Four times! And European musical tastes are bloody awful! Everybody knows that!"

It seems that people have every right to complain about a six minute anthem. Our researcher innforms us that the anthem contains verses about boiled cabbage, chicken, nuclear power stations, vodka, beetroot, and hairy women.

Oh, and soccer flop Andriy Shevchenko.

And tractors.

And lumberjacks.

And pickling spices.

It does go on a bit.

More when we wake up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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