Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 28 April 2009

image for Alan Shearer Sacked - Alan Sugar To Be Next Newcastle Boss
Go shear that!

Newcastle United boss, Sir Alan Shearer, was relieved of his temporary post this afternoon, after the Magpies could only draw 0-0 with Portsmouth at St James Park last night. They have not won under Shearer, and are now in real danger of dropping into the Championship.

The man to enforce the sacking was Sir Alan Sugar, who will take over from Shearer. He told the Geordie legend:

"You came in here with all those promises, high expectations and false bravado. Running a football club, particularly a rubbish football club, is no easy job, and you casually misjudged the enormity of the task I set you. I have no more faith in you, and I can no longer trust you. Alan, ... ... ... you're fired!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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