Written by Honest Lee
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Monday, 30 March 2009

image for Michael Owen - I quit
Owen quits international football

Michael Owen, Newcastle United's number one striker, has quit international football. The diminutive England man, with 40 goals in 89 games for his country, has decided that enough is enough.

A statement today said, "It looks like I have fallen out of favour with Mr Capello so I have decided to concentrate on club football and prolong my career. I've had a great time with England but it looks like that particular part of my career has run its course."

John Motson, the popular commentator, was deeply disappointed when he heard the news, "Do you know, I've followed Michael Owen closely over the years and I don't believe that his time is at an end. He's still one of our best goalscorers, scoring once every 3.1 shots to my reckoning, and has plenty to offer the national team."

Although Owen, 29, appears to not get on with Capello in footballing terms he declared that he would, "still ask the wife to by that lovely apple juice his family makes". The Copella Juice Company were unaware of Owen's fondness for their refreshing drinks but said that a sponsorship deal could soon follow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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