After booting should be lobotomized Looney Rooney, Castrato singer and soccer afficionado, Fabio Acapello sent not merry old soul, Ashley Cole, the mad drunk of Manchester packing.
Acapello told the Rude Footballers Tabloid that drunks are ten pence a dozen in the big leagues. But to make it big in the Bigs one needs to play at the top of the game and be a happy drunk:
"We can't abide neither the mentally ill nor the angry inebriate. Both are footballers non grata in the Premiers. Crazy is fine as long as it is cute and funny, no illness allowed.
"We love drunk when drunk means no meanness, lotsa humour and especially no pointing when a justified red card is layed upon thee. Maybe Cole can play at St Bedlam's with the likes of Looney Tune Rooney..."