Fabio Acapello, the only footballer and castrato singer in the world told Man UTD in a perfect soprano that Looney Rooney had got to go. Since his latest looney illustration against Fulham, the men in the white coats have been looking for an appropriate placement for royal loon Rooney.
Finally the discovery of an opening for a striker in the Schizo Soccer league on the reknowned crazies of all crazies the centuries old St Mary of Bedlam assorted nut shop and insane asylum made it possible for Acapello to sing his last aria about Looney Rooney.
It was a moving scene as the castrated Acapello bid a fond farewell to the mad king of strikers. The memorable refrain from the improvised operatic solo stayed with the audience as Castrati Fabio falsettoed:
"I thought that I could croon forever to my Rooney loon until you spooned with a madness beyond my depth.To Bedlam you go, best of luck and Cheerio!"