Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Tennis, Rafael Nadal

Monday, 23 March 2009

image for Andy Murray Blames Nadal Defeat On Wind
Murray ripples the flag with another big fart

Great Britain's number 1 tennis player, Andy Murray, crashed to a two-set embarrassment against Rafael Nadal in the final of the Indian Wells Masters, and then blamed the defeat on wind.

Murray, who had beaten Nadal in their previous two meetings, often suffers from flatulence, made worse by his routine pre-match diet of a lamb curry washed down with four cans of pale ale.

The Scot had high hopes of joining a distinguished list of previous winners including Nadal, Roger Federer, Andre Agassi, Pete Sampras, Stefan Edberg, Boris Becker, Jimmy Connors and John Newcombe, but from the start he was struggling.

After the first three games went with serve, Murray, visibly in some discomfort, let out a huge trump as he desperately tried to save the fourth, and yet another - a quacking wet fart - in the sixth, as Nadal went 5-1 up.

When the Spaniard complained to the umpire about the smell emanating from Murray's end of the court at 2-2 in the second set, the British no. 1 lost complete control - of his temper and of his bowels - and released an air biscuit from his Chamber of Horrors that had spectators in the front row gasping for breath.

Said Murray afterwards:

"It was a poor performance. I had a lot of trouble with the wind."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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