Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 21 March 2009

image for Carlos Tevez In 'West Ham Return' Shock
He doesn't like the rain

Manchester United fans are waking up to a real shock this morning, after it was revealed that their Argentine striker, Carlos Tevez, will be re-signing for West Ham United later today.

The inclement weather prevalent in the Manchester area is thought to be at least partly to blame.

Tevez signed for the Reds from West Ham in 2007 after a prolonged dispute between the player's agent and the Hammers. When this was resolved by the Premier League, Tevez became a United player in a deal worth around £20million.

Recently, however, Sir Alex Ferguson has had real selection problems, having to accommodate his four main strikers - Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Tevez and moody Bulgarian misfit, Dimitar Berbatov, in his side, and has now made his choice.

The decision won't be a popular one with the Old Trafford fans; Tevez has scored some vital goals this term, and has established an excellent partnership with Rooney. Even this though, paled into insignificance when taking into account the weather statistics for 'miserable Manchester', where it rains more than it does in Bangladesh.

This morning, Tevez was seen packing boxes into a removal van outside his home, and told reporters:

"I love play for United, but iss always pissing down!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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